Where have I been?

****Warning***** May contain too much information!!!!

Well. Quite an interesting month has come and gone for the Haslers. Let's see. Where do I start?

We found out on May 18th that I was pregnant! Yipee! We were excited yet very cautious! Things we were going wonderfully. On June 3 I had been having a slight pain in my lower right side, so I went to the doctor just to be safe. I got to see a beautiful baby heartbeat! We cried such happy tears! We have had two previous miscarriages both of which we were told were blighted ovums meaning the baby probably never developed far enough to have a heartbeat. This time we had a heartbeat! We were thrilled! The doctor was thrilled as well. He said that I had ovarian cysts causing me the pain. This was no big deal I had had them many times before and would probably go away on their own in the next few weeks. They did however notice some slight bleeding between my uterus and placenta. Bad news. But we were optimistic that bedrest would take care of everything! So Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday were spent on complete bedrest! Friday was fun, but by Monday I was borrreeeddd! We went back to the doctor on Monday and got to see the beautiful baby again! Again we were elated! The doctor sent us home and said to take it easy, but things looked great. We weren't scheduled to come back until the 22nd! Then all hell broke loose.

Monday night I was sitting on the couch and smelled blood. (I had not bled a single drop the entire pregnancy which was also giving the doctors hope!) I went to the bathroom and thought whew! False alarm. There was nothing indicating any issues. Then suddenly I had a complete miscarriage. I was crushed but I knew right away what had happened. John and I went to the ER but really there was nothing they could do for us obviously. So they doped me with meds and sent me home. Life sucked again! We are now in the 3 miscarriages club! Never a club I thought I would have to join, but let me tell you it is a sucky club to be a member of!

We are doing really well. Considering I had a D&C with both of my last and this time I didn't have to have surgury I was thankful. The morning after the miscarriage I went in for another ultrasound and my only prayer was that it would all be over and no surgury or painful meds needed. My prayer was answered. The doctor was almost shocked at how quickly my body had recovered. My uterus was already pre-pregnancy size! I guess in all the bad that was at least one good.

Emotionally I am doing great. I didn't fall apart this time. I am not sure that is a good thing though. I think we are getting to the point that pregnacies don't really excited us too much and miscarriages are getting easy to deal with.

Thursday was my birthday and so we spent the whole day together shopping and eating away our sadness. Then we felt better, but our pocket books were much much lighter!!!

Please don't feel sorry for us. That makes it harder. We are very tough people and can pretty much handle anything that gets hurled at us. Our only prayer right now is that God would give the doctors the knowledge of what happened and how we can move on from here. We aren't ruling out another pregnancy yet, but adoption is looking better and better in my eyes. Physcially I just don't know how much more I can take.

Sorry to be a downer, but just needed to let you guys know what was going on!