The last year of my life has taught me the biggest lessons of my life. Sometimes God's plans are not our plans, and many times our plans are not God's plans.
Let me explain. We were not trying to get pregnant when we found out we were pregnant last summer. It just kinda... happened! Then we hopped on the God train and held on for the ride. When things turned out bad we were so mad at God for ruining our plans, when in fact that was His plan all along.
In the same way we were so certain that John's new job was going to change our lives. For the first time we would have cash inflow that was more than we could have imagined! We prayed and prayed and prayed that God would allow John this job. God said yes. Now that job is John's main source of anger and depression. He hates it. So our plans were not exactly what God had in mind; or maybe it was, because an excellent lesson has come out of that job. We now know money does not bring us happiness.
We are trying to focus the next step in our lives around God's plan. This is the first time that we have ever thought and planned this way in our marriage. For example, we have been finishing up the remodeling of our house. We had picked out a particular entertainment center for the living room. It is awesome! It has a fireplace in it and it is just perfect. A few nights ago John and I were laying in bed and he said, "Do you think we should spend that much on glorifying an idol?" I was floored! What??? You mean you don't think we should buy the one item we have been planning on for months?!?! At first, honestly I was kind of mad at him. I took a few days to realize what he meant. We have been planning on canceling our satellite service when our contract in up in November. Even though I had been looking at it as a way to save money, John had been realizing it is an idol in our life. We spend WAY too much time centered around our DVRed shows trying to "catch up." After a few days of prayer and asking God what He thought about me spending money on the perfect new entertainment center, the answer was so clear in my heart. There are way better things that we can do with that money. Then John mentioned today that he thought maybe we should sell the 42 inch tv and just have the 32 inch one in the living room. For the first time, I totally agreed!
Just about an hour ago, John dropped another bomb on me. He told me was was thinking we should sell his car and go to a single car. It would allow us to pay off a tremendous amount of our debt, and free up monthly funds to spend our money as God would have us spend our money. Again, I nearly fell on the floor when I read his email. I said there is probably no way we can make that work logistically. He said why.......? Umm... Uh.... well, I really didn't have an answer for him. So, tonight we are going to really sit down and talk about having a single car would look like for us and see if we can't make it work!
Whew, this ride is getting scarier and scarier as I take my trust out of my own hands and put it in the hands of the Creator whose blessings can exceed anything that I thought I could provide for myself. I actually feel like the "About us" section of our blog may have been foreshadowing what was about to happen in our lives!
"God, I am nervous about the things you are doing in our life and marriage. Yet, I am very excited to see the blessings that come from trusting you and allowing you to lead us where you want us to go. For the first time we are saying, where you lead us we will follow!"
I pray that God will speak wild crazy ideas into you and your family's hearts this week as well. Trust me when I say, if you don't listen the first time His voice will only get louder!