Happy Anniversary!

First of all let me give a shout out to my anniversary buddy Kelli! What John isn't your anniversary buddy? Ha! Nope! Kelli and Lane got married a year and a day before us! So Kelli and I are anniversary buddies! Happy 4 years to the Moss Family and Happy 3 years to us!

John's little sister is getting married in September and so we have been reminiscing quite a bit about our wedding the past few days. We have had a crazy ride since that day but I have held my hands high in the fun times and gotten white knuckles trying not to fall off in the not so fun times.

So now that I have been married such a long time I have become quite the "expert!" Ha! Hardly, but I do what to share some advise that has gotten us through the past three years.

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Amy's Marriage Wisdom:

1. Don't get hung up on the little things.
My blood begins to boil when I get home late from work and find the kitchen a mess and John playing XBox. But I know that he needs time to chill after work too. Instead of harp, maybe it is best to chill for a few minutes with him and then suggest that after dinner you clean the house together. It usually works pretty good for me.

2. ALWAYS give each other a genuine kiss before bed.
Sometimes I can be really mad when we get in bed, but John refuses to let me go to sleep until I am un-mad enough to give him a "real" kiss.

3. Be real with each other.
If you are mad, then be mad! If you are sad or hormonal then be honest about it! But then you also have to be real when it comes to when you have done wrong to the other. This is the sucky part! If you are worried about something, no matter how small it it, let your spouse know! Chances are they will be glad you told them. Of course he may think you are a little silly when you make him go check to make sure there is not a homeless man living in your attic.... Yep, I made him check... in the summer... in Oklahoma! John told me unless he already died from heat exhaustion, there is no one living on our attic! Give me a break! I was pregnant and hormonal!

4. Act like you did when you were dating.
After our crappy week last month we spent a few days together celebrating my birthday. We snuggled in the movies, sat on the same sit of the booth together, and jammed to the radio in the car. We felt like we were teenagers again and I couldn't wait to get home because I was excited that I actually got to live alone with my boyfriend! :) It really renewed our relationship!

5. Little surprises can go a long way.
This morning John surprised me at 5:30 with donuts! It was early, but sweet! We laid in bed and ate our donuts together while trying to defend our breakfast from our sneaky puppy! It really made my day start off great! He is really great at doing things like this!

6. Fast from the world from time to time.
We had a period of a month that we didn't watch any TV. We were required to find things to do together. It was one of the best months of our relationship. Plus our house was really clean!

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If you are married, I want to encourage you to surprise your spouse with something small today. It could be a great big hug when he walks through the door, or a big dinner under the stars. Just remind him of why you two are together!

If you are not married, I want to encourage you to wait for the right man comes along. No relationship is perfect, but make your "wish-list" and make sure your future man meets most of your criteria!

Hope you have a great week!

I was almost the Biggest Loser!

Since I have been the world's worst blogger and not updating (I hate when there aren't any new blog updates on my dashboard, but I am not doing my part for other people!) I almost forgot to tell you that before this whole pregnancy fiasco I got 2nd place in my work's biggest loser! My final weigh in was 159.0 so I had lost 14.2 lbs! That was on May 10. I was already preggo too! I haven't weighed myself in for the last few weeks, but I am hitting the ground running when I get off work today! My newest goal is 130 lbs by the next pregnancy! Wish me luck!

Let me also give a shout out to Mrs. Kelli Moss for completing her 5k last weekend! I was there! I witnessed it! Way to go Kel! Love ya! I will try to remember to post some pictures from our race this week! We raised over $3000 for our youth!

What now?

I have gone back and re-read my last post several times. It makes me sad. When you are a little girl you dream of finding your perfect husband, having a big beautiful wedding, honeymooning in paradise, then eventually making sweet little children. No where in this dream world are there miscarriages or pain. John and I have been been together 10 years this month. Wow! That is a freaking long time! We were laying in bed talking last night and we were thinking back on some of the things we have been through. We have held each other through some very dark times.

John's mom moved out the week before we started dating. I have watched such joy come from that situation. His parents are both happy and his mom married a guy that is the best step-dad to John. He introduces John as his son to people. Mike is very proud of John and that makes me smile.

My mom moved out of my dad's house 6 months after we got married. We struggled through 2 years of separation and turmoil in our family. There were tears and pain, but then they bought a new house together last summer and have now been back together almost an entire year.

By fair the darkest place we have been in our marriage has been this past year. I am so blessed that through every tear John has been there. Many times he was the only reason I was standing, simply because he was holding me up. He has undoubtedly been my rock. When I told him last night I was thinking about giving up and maybe just look into other routes to have children he told me no. He has refused to let me give up! It is our dream to have at least one biological child. I know many people will say there are lots of children that need good homes. I couldn't agree more! I cannot wait to have many of these children become my children eventually. However, I yearn to look into the eyes of my child knowing that he/she is a part of me. I cannot wait to laugh at how goofy our child is just like their daddy. John will be a fantastic dad! I am merely cool by association to all of the kiddos in our life. When I go visit my sister my nephew always asks me if John is in the car!

So what's next? I got the burden today of calling and cancelling all of my OB appointments that had been scheduled for the next few months. That was hard. The poor lady on the other end kept asking me when I wanted to rescheduled and I finally had to tell her that I would not be rescheduling because I was no longer pregnant. I hate having to tell people. They just feel so miserable and I feel miserable for them!

Our next plan of action is to schedule an appointment with our high risk doctor. I have seen her once before, but now she will be our permanent doctor. I am happy about that, because she is amazing! We will go to her in September and begin the testing process all over again. In the last round of testing I gave over 50 vials of blood within a week. So that really doesn't bother me anymore. Hopefully we will be able to try again within 3-6 months. Let me be the first to tell you, I am already nervous for the next pregnancy! I really don't mind other people sticking me with needles, but I have a feeling that daily shots of hormones are in my future. John informed me last night that if he has to give me the shots everyday, then he is going to sneak attack them. He is looking forward to poking me with needles when I least expect it. Did I mention he is one sick individual?!?

We have also decided to go ahead and finish decorating our nursery. That may sound strange to you, but eventually there will be a baby in that crib believe you me! I have had my nursery decorations picked out since the first pregnancy and by George I am going to move on with my plans! At least I won't have to rely on John to paint when I am pregnant! We all know how my bathroom turned out!

Well... I just realized that I wrote a novel.... so if you are still reading I'm sorry! It is just nice to get your thoughts out on paper...um.... I mean on the computer. So again... thanks for listening.... if you are still listening.... OK bye!

Where have I been?

****Warning***** May contain too much information!!!!

Well. Quite an interesting month has come and gone for the Haslers. Let's see. Where do I start?

We found out on May 18th that I was pregnant! Yipee! We were excited yet very cautious! Things we were going wonderfully. On June 3 I had been having a slight pain in my lower right side, so I went to the doctor just to be safe. I got to see a beautiful baby heartbeat! We cried such happy tears! We have had two previous miscarriages both of which we were told were blighted ovums meaning the baby probably never developed far enough to have a heartbeat. This time we had a heartbeat! We were thrilled! The doctor was thrilled as well. He said that I had ovarian cysts causing me the pain. This was no big deal I had had them many times before and would probably go away on their own in the next few weeks. They did however notice some slight bleeding between my uterus and placenta. Bad news. But we were optimistic that bedrest would take care of everything! So Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday were spent on complete bedrest! Friday was fun, but by Monday I was borrreeeddd! We went back to the doctor on Monday and got to see the beautiful baby again! Again we were elated! The doctor sent us home and said to take it easy, but things looked great. We weren't scheduled to come back until the 22nd! Then all hell broke loose.

Monday night I was sitting on the couch and smelled blood. (I had not bled a single drop the entire pregnancy which was also giving the doctors hope!) I went to the bathroom and thought whew! False alarm. There was nothing indicating any issues. Then suddenly I had a complete miscarriage. I was crushed but I knew right away what had happened. John and I went to the ER but really there was nothing they could do for us obviously. So they doped me with meds and sent me home. Life sucked again! We are now in the 3 miscarriages club! Never a club I thought I would have to join, but let me tell you it is a sucky club to be a member of!

We are doing really well. Considering I had a D&C with both of my last and this time I didn't have to have surgury I was thankful. The morning after the miscarriage I went in for another ultrasound and my only prayer was that it would all be over and no surgury or painful meds needed. My prayer was answered. The doctor was almost shocked at how quickly my body had recovered. My uterus was already pre-pregnancy size! I guess in all the bad that was at least one good.

Emotionally I am doing great. I didn't fall apart this time. I am not sure that is a good thing though. I think we are getting to the point that pregnacies don't really excited us too much and miscarriages are getting easy to deal with.

Thursday was my birthday and so we spent the whole day together shopping and eating away our sadness. Then we felt better, but our pocket books were much much lighter!!!

Please don't feel sorry for us. That makes it harder. We are very tough people and can pretty much handle anything that gets hurled at us. Our only prayer right now is that God would give the doctors the knowledge of what happened and how we can move on from here. We aren't ruling out another pregnancy yet, but adoption is looking better and better in my eyes. Physcially I just don't know how much more I can take.

Sorry to be a downer, but just needed to let you guys know what was going on!

Question/Answer

A Blog Buddy Megan that I read posted some really great questions:

Do you like Glass Plus or Windex better?

I use the cheapo depot for most of my "cleaning products" However I do use Mr. Clean Multipurpose Antibacterial Solution for many many things. I usually buy it and dilute it in a spray bottle for my bathrooms and kitchen. It is pretty cheap and lasts a long time when you dilute it! I have been toying with the idea of going natural. www.thesimpledollar.com has some great homemade cleaning ideas that are natural.

Do you prefer powder detergent or liquid?

I use liquid. I actually buy in bulk at Sams my Tide with Bleach. I like the bottle that it comes in from Sams because it has a spout and I can just store above my washer and push the button.

Which detergent do you think keeps colors and whites brightest?

I was born and raised on Tide with Bleach. It may be a little more expensive but I never use bleach or hardly any other stain remover and my clothes always come out clean.

What stain remover do you think works best?

I use Shout.

Is there a hair dryer or brush out there that really minimizes frizz or saves you time?

I bought a hair dryer that really saves me quite a bit of time. It is much more powerful than my old one and it cut a few minutes off drying my hair (it's super thick!). It is from Wal-Mart I can't think of the name right now. I also bought a large rolling brush that seems to let air flow through it well. Again not sure of the name right now.

What air purifier do you have and or like or don't like?

I have an air purifier than doubles as a fan in our bedroom. It is from Lowes and it has washable filters. This was very important to me so that I don't have to keep buying new filters.

Do you keep all your DVDs in their case?

Yes. They go in drawers in our buffet tv stand. We are a bit weird, they are in alphabetical order by type. For example all movies are together, all tv series are together, home movies, Wii games, and x-box games.

Do you wear shoes in your house or do you take them off at the door?

Shoes are unfortunately permitted in our house. The men in my life all have a tendency to stomp mud and grass through my house and it makes me so mad! I have been toying with the idea of getting two benches with cubbies to have at the front and back door and having a no shoes allowed house. Our hardwood floors are constantly dirty! I have to sweep nearly every day! I am just not sure how you enforce that in the beginning? Any ideas?

What do you think helps prevent freezer burn the best?

I don't know, but I would love to know! For our chicken breasts we buy steroid free, free range and so it comes in a meat package all together. I take each breast and wrap it in plastic wrap then store in a vacuum seal ziploc bag (which I reuse since no raw chicken ever touches). I like the convenience of having them individually frozen.

Do you drink bottled water or do you have a purifier on your faucet?

I am anti-plastic bottles! I recently went to the city land fill for the first time and it was an eye opener. Since then we recycle recycle recycle! We have always had a purifier on our faucet it makes life easier.

Do you use an address book or have an address book program on your computer?

No address book. I just bought a new day planner and I am trying to get addresses into it. I am always texting people and asking them for their address!

Any other household tips you have would be greatly appreciated!

Mother's Day

Yesterday was bittersweet in many ways. First of all let me give a shout out to the amazing women in my life.

First and for most. My mom rocks! She is spunky, creative, tender, and nurturing. She is one of my very best friends. I get much of who I am from my mom. She instilled in me the confidence of being able to do anything! I am pretty sure that is why I think I can remodel, rebuild, or redecorate anything! Nothing is too big for us! She inspires me. She worked so hard for over 20 years at a company to become a regional manager all without a college degree. Then when she felt they were treating her unfairly she quit and enrolled in school. That day! She makes me proud. Not much worries my mom and she is a strong believer in the "it wasn't meant to be" statement. Also, she firmly feels that everything will be ok no matter the circumstances. She has proven to be an amazing grandmother to my nephew and I can't wait to bless her with many more little babies!

My sister! She is my polar opposite except we are just alike! Does that make any sense? School was soooo important to me she was there for the friends and the fun! She always needed to use the phone when I did, yet I loved to sit in the hall and listen to the "big girl" conversations she was having. I just thought she was so cool! She hated to have to babysit me and have me tag along but always tried to include me! She has been my rock through my miscarriages and parents' separation. She is seriously one of the best moms. I never thought that would be the case, but as soon as my nephew was born she totally turned into a mother in all sense of the word! She loves to take care of her baby sister. In fact my wedding would not have happened without her! She is ambitious and strong. She is super intelligent and just fun to be around!

My Grandmother. She has been through many struggles. She raised three wild boys with very little money. She is gentle and likes to take care of everyone. When I was sick in school I would stay with her and should would pamper me all day while we watched hours of I Love Lucy! I spent many summers camping with her and my grandpa and she and I would go for walks and fish. She is a very classy lady at 83.

My Mother-in-Law. It's funny most people hate their mother in law. I really love mine! Let's be honest, we haven't always seen eye-to-eye but I imagine it's hard to see someone as strong-willed as me marry your baby boy. She is very inspiring! She went to school after her kids when to school and graduated Friday with her Masters Degree. She was the Oklahoma Teacher of the year which led her to an amazing job opportunity. John gets much of who he is from his mom. They are both all about following the rules whether it be in a parking lot or in school, they are both crazy organizers (in fact no matter what trip either of them plan, you are going to receive a detailed itinerary in your in-box!), and they always want to make sure everyone else is taken care of an happy! We are looking forward to making her a grandmother in the near future!

My Sister-in-Law Shannon. I was so intimidated by Shannon when John and I first started dating. She was in Miss Oklahoma one of the first times I met her. Here I was an awkward teenager meeting my boyfriend's beautiful sister. She and I were not really ever that close until the past 3 or 4 years. She really wants to do what is right and she is an amazing friend. She was so supportive and a great shoulder to lean on through my struggles. It's pretty freaky some of our similarities. Many times I will say, "I can't believe I am going to admit that I like this show (Kendra, Duggars, Guliana and Bill...) she will most usually say, "Oh! I watch that too!" She and I could probably laugh and talk to days!

My Sister-in-Law Caitlin. I have known Caitlin long before I even knew John. She was in my grade in school. We went to church camp together, and we played softball together for years. In fact, I didn't even know she had an older brother until middle school! We ended up getting into the same scholarship program in college which eased all of my fears knowing we would be going together! She is going to moving into a house 3 houses down from us this summer and I cannot wait to have her as a neighbor! She is a great friend and I love her dearly!

Yet there was one person missing yesterday. My Grandma Patty. She passed away 15 years ago from Ovarian Cancer, but it still feels like it was yesterday. She was such a fun and crazy lady. She would take me to the dollar store and literally buy me whatever I wanted. I was in heaven! She was an amazing grandmother to 5 grandchildren. I know it is hard on my mom and aunt to not have her around.

Yesterday, should of, could of, would of been my first mother's day. That was a little rough, but really knowing God's plan and purpose for me and my children quiets my aching heart. I know that I WILL be a mother. NO MATTER WHAT. Until then I still get to sleep in! Ha! I hope that yesterday was filled with joy no matter what your situation. Remember that whether you have three beautiful children, a fantastic mother, a mother who has passed, single, infertile, or estranged from your mother, celebrate the women in your life that have made a difference for you! Also, take the time to be a mother for those that need one. A mother doesn't have to be biological to nurture, love and care.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!


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After thinking about it I should most definitely give another shout out to my BBs! Laura and Jaclyn! Since really they are more like sisters than friends!!! Love you girls!

Sad Day...

I ran over a squirrel on my way to work this morning.... I cried all the way to work! I am the person everyone else on the road hates. Yes I brake for squirrels, cats, dogs, birds and any other creature that has the courage to attempt to cross the road. I have in fact gotten out of my car and chased animals out of the road. I am just that kind of person. The Sarah McLaughlin commercials make me whimper like a newborn. Yet this morning, on MY street a squirrel literally came out of nowhere and THUD I ran over it! I looked back in my rear view mirror to see his four little legs reaching for the sky. The worst part of it all is I saw his little friend running after him! I now will have to drive past that thing many times a day until he... huhmm.... decomposes!!!! I called John to see if he would go get it and bury it, he said I was on my own if I was going to be scooping up roadkill to bring home. He's mean.

Hope your day started better than mine!