Freak me out

Thursday, April 5, 2012

What did you do today?



5 a.m.: Gatlin yells for me from his crib and is hungry. I search for my glasses in the dark, knock them off the bedside table and under the bed. I roll out of the bed and crawl on the ground nearly smashing my glasses in the process. I hurdle over the baby gate that we keep in our doorway to keep the dog in our room at night and stumble into the nursery. I pick Gatlin up from his crib and hurdle back over the baby gate and back into our room. I stub my pinky toe on the blasted dog ramp at the foot of the bed that we have for our elderly dog so she can get up in the middle of the night without waking up the whole house. I cover my mouth and breath deep so not to wake up the snoring husband since he only has a few more minutes of sleep. The baby monitor screams from the nursery. I forgot to turn it off again. So much for not waking John up. Back over the dog gate. I nudge the dog and the husband over and nurse Gatlin back to sleep... asleep I realize... on my arm... which is now falling asleep as well... hoping to catch a few more minutes of rest, I decide a numb arm is worth the sacrifice of ten more minutes of sleep.

Just as I drift off to sleep with my precious angel snuggled in close, John's alarm screams at him from across the room. He snoozes... once... twice... I kick him, begging him to let the baby sleep. He obliges and turns off the alarm. He gets up and walks to the bathroom. BAM, the lights from the bathroom shine brightly into my eyes. I try to shield it from my sleeping beauty's eyes. I hear the shower running and think, "I will sleep until John gets out of the shower." What seems like thirty seconds later, John goes through the closet looking for his golf polo of choice, and asks, "What's for breakfast babe? I need to leave in five minutes." I ever so gently ease Gatlin out of our bed and back into his crib.

I walk blindly into the kitchen, realizing halfway there that I forgot my glasses, gathering dirty laundry from the house as I go. I toss the laundry into the sunroom, promising to sort later. I stand at the fridge... breakfast...? I go to the pantry.... breakfast? I decide on oatmeal. It's quick, easy, and somewhat healthy. I pack the oatmeal and a few snacks into John's lunch pail and set it by the door. John comes out of the bedroom dressed and going through his morning checklist: Keys, cellphone, wallet, name badge.  

       "Honey do you know where my wallet is?"

       "Where are the pants you wore yesterday?"

       "I took them off in the living room."

       "Grrr..."

I go out to the sun room and find the pants from the previous day. I find the wallet and send John on his happy way to work. I get a bit excited. I have exactly thirty minutes until my nephew gets here for the day. I snuggle back under the covers and I hear a knock on the door. There stands John, "I forgot my cellphone." We find the phone and I send him out the door once again. I decide no sleep is better than just 10 minutes of sleep so I get dressed for the day. Workout clothes and tennis shoes. Because I tell myself while the babies sleep I will hop on the treadmill for a few minutes.

I hear the car door shut and see my brother-in-law walking up the drive with Lincoln. I meet them outside since I have discovered that the dog won't bark if I meet them outside. I bring Lincoln inside and unpack his bag for the day. I only have a few more minutes before Gatlin wakes up, so Lincoln and I make his bottles for the day.

Gatlin hollers from his room. I settle Lincoln into the swing and get Gatlin up. I sit him on the floor and realize I forgot his diaper in the nursery. He fusses since he is not quite awake yet. Clean diaper and snuggles. Then Lincoln fusses because his paci has fallen out. I reinsert the peacemaker and get Gatlin some toys out of the basket. I alternate between fussing boys for the next hour. Then it's time for the morning nap. I sing the abbreviated version of Jesus Loves Me to Gatlin. Lay him down and gather Lincoln. Diaper change and swaying before turning on Mr. Turtle to sing him into a blissful sleep.

I decide to start breakfast for myself. I hear Lincoln from the monitor. The paci fell out. I go back in and soothe him and then realize my scrambled eggs are still on the stove. Ruined, I toss them in the sink and grab a cereal bar. I start a load of laundry... well it's technically still in the washer from yesterday, but it now stinks and must be rewashed. I unload the dishes and hear the trash truck at the house behind us. Trash!!! I forgot to take the dumpster to the curb. I quickly gather the trash from the bathrooms, careful not to wake Lincoln who is asleep in a pack n play in our room. I get the trash to the curb as they pull past our house. Thankfully, they backup and ask if I forgot again...

I go back in and load the dishes from breakfast and dinner from the night before. I wipe down the counters and sweep the kitchen. The dog stares at me and then her bowl and then back at me. If we didn't have a dog that reminded me to feed her, she would probably starve to death. I apologize and feed and water her. I go through the mail from the day before and find another bill from the hospital from when Gatlin was born. I open it and realize they still have his insurance incorrect. I call for the 6th time since he was born. I wait on hold for 5... 10... 15 minutes. The gentleman assures me he will make the corrections on his account. I snicker.

Gatlin wakes up. Diaper change and snuggle, then I nurse him. I put him the highchair and spend 30 minutes trying to convince him that yogurt and apples are not gross. I clean him and the highchair and lay him on is tummy and strategically place toys just out of reach to encourage him to crawl. Lincoln is awake. I rush to the kitchen and start his bottle before he gets mad. Diaper change. BAD diaper change. Soy milk poop is the worst. I feed and burp Lincoln and Gatlin gets jealous. I do my best, "Ah getcha goo goo, who's a good baby? Peek-a-boo" talk to Gatlin to entertain him while I finish feeding Lincoln.

John calls and asks, "What time is lunch?" We agree on noon and I put Lincoln down beside Gatlin and get him a toy. Gatlin proceeds to try to resuscitate Lincoln and I separate them for Lincoln's protection.  I switch over the laundry and pile the clean clothes from the dryer onto the couch. I think to myself I will do that during the afternoon nap.


I prepare lunch with Gatlin in the high chair and Lincoln in the bumbo. Both watching intently as I do my best to play chef in the last few minutes before John walks in for lunch. He gets home, washes his hands and I feed Gatlin and entertain Lincoln while John eats. The thirty minutes he is home goes by too quickly and then he rushes back to work. I clean up Gatlin (wow, learning to feed yourself is very messy!) and change his diaper. Sing the entire song of Jesus loves me this time and down he goes for his afternoon nap. Another bottle for Lincoln and then he plays on the kick mat while I clean up the kitchen for the second time today. Lincoln gets bored and I do my best to entertain him before his nap. We fight for an hour after I put him down for a nap, he keeps rolling onto his tummy and getting mad, then I roll him back over. He falls asleep and I sit in the kitchen and enjoy my lunch.

All five minutes of it before Gatlin is up and ready to play!  We work on learning to walk and crawl. I catch of whiff of myself and can't remember if I showered yesterday. I put Gatlin in his bouncer and turn on Veggietales. I sneak into our bedroom and into the master bath. I shower. I find my clothes in the dark and proceed half-naked into the hall to get dressed. My phone rings. I run, still half-naked, past the four open windows in our living room and answer it. Stupid credit card survey. I remember specifically telling them to PLEASE QUIT CALLING ME!!! I get dressed and Gatlin is bored. I take him out of the bouncer and turn off the tv.  


We get online to check the double digit bank account balance and then set up bills to be paid for when John's paycheck goes in tonight. Gatlin plays with the tv remote and I hear Lincoln stirring in the bedroom. I make his bottle. I lay him in the boppy pillow next to Gatlin and feed him. Gatlin keeps trying to take Lincoln's bottle from him. So I assume he is wanting a snack. I nurse him while I bottle feed Lincoln. Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you have bottle fed and breastfed at the same time.


I remember that I needed to return something to Lowes. I got the wrong something or another again for our latest home renovation. I am ever thankful for my car's remote start. I start the car to let it cool down before I carry Lincoln, Gatlin and their two diaper bags out to the car. I snap Lincoln's carseat into its base and then strap Gatlin into his carseat. Drive to Lowe's and park next to the cart return. I fight with Gatlin's shopping seat cover and then strap him into the cart. I then put Lincoln, still in his carseat, into the cart of the basket. We return our item and search for the correct item. All the while shielding stares and questions from people. No one can ever quite figure out if they are weird sized twins or if I just couldn't figure out the whole birth control thing. We make our purchase and then back home we go. I pull onto our street and realize that both boys are sleeping. I'm not stupid. I don't wake sleeping babies. So I drive to Sonic and treat myself to a lemon water. The best 35 cents you can spend during happy hour.


We return home about 10 minutes before John gets off work. Both boys are awake and wanting to play. They suck on each other's hands and toes and I laugh and take pictures. John gets home and asks, "What are we doing about dinner? I have a (insert church league sport here) game at 6." Gatlin and daddy wrestle while Lincoln and I decide dinner. I start dinner about the time Lincoln's mommy comes and gets him. I pack up his things and tell him,  "See you bright and early tomorrow!" John offers to let me go run while dinner is cooking and I jump at the opportunity.


When my feet hit the pavement, I smile. I seriously have the best job in the world.








5 comments:

  1. I just love you, I look forward to getting to know you better over the years. You are a true delight.
    Aunt Nancy

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  2. Can identify with every word! Especially the weird stranger stares! You are doing an awesome job :)

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  3. Really enjoyed reading about you, my nephew and my great-nephews. I'm so happy that you're watching Lincoln and I can see that you are a great auntie and mommy. I had to giggle at some of your remarks (like the soy formula diaper - I know exactly what you mean - Justin had the same problem as Lincoln). Those boys remind me so much of Justin and Jonathon when they were babies. I LOVE cousins close in age growing up together - what friends they will be FOR LIFE! Love you all so much, wish we could see you more. Aunt Connie

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  4. Great blog, Amy! I enjoyed every word of it. You do have the best job in the world :)

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  5. I am officially exhausted after reading this! lol. I just thought I worked hard... As an aunt that is not a mommy I don't know how u do it... I watch my nephew one day a week and theres just one of him and I only do it once a week... I don't know how u do it... keep it up... love reading about ur fun but busy job....

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